It’s been a tough week, rather number of weeks. I lost some money, and almost lost some more. I know this is familiar with all the robbery that is plaguing the city. It has gotten to a point that the robbers have crossed the line, and police have to shoot a few dead (they always know these guys). I lost some money, but wasn't robbed in broad daylight like my friend in one of the city’s main roads, or even robbed at all. Well, I was almost robbed until the president refused to sign into law the bill that would award some 200 dishonourable members KES 6 million each.

It was at an annual event that I lost KES 300, which was disguised as entry fee. This was at the Nairobi International Trade Fair, formerly known as the Nairobi Agricultural Show.

Kenyans are the best damn marketers in Africa. The guys south of the Limpopo have nothing on us, neither do the ones north of the Sahara. I mean, we build a road properly, something we were meant to do 20 years ago, and it becomes a super highway, with so much hullabaloo that we don’t notice someone has been stealing the damn signs as soon as they are up.

Again, our marketers have somehow convinced us that the year 2030 will be far greater than a vintage year in Champagne, France. The government has even constituted a board to ensure that we achieve certain otherwise procedural stuff by 2030.

Going back to the Nairobi International Trade Fair, there was little of International in it, nor of trade. Well, there might be have been substantial presence of other nations in it, but to be fair, they should have called in Nairobi and Shanghai Trade Fair.  Again, I have a “small” problem with the word trade in the name.

See, one assumes that a trade fair, especially an international one, they will meet traders who are seeking various partnerships, such as distributors and partners. It is with little suspicion that one will suspect that the trade will be a number of traders selling stuff to those visiting the fair.

Do note, however, that I was unsure of the nationality of some of the traders who I thought were from China, until I heard them conversing to customers in Kiswahili.

Clothing seemed to be moving in bales, with duvets being quite attractive. I am not sure if KES 2,500 was an attractive price point, or people were buying them because others were buying them. I mean, human baits are an important tool of trade. People will buy ice cream because they get the urge when they see others buying and eating the same. Those scam artists who trick people into betting their money on a game of cards on the streets also use a bait who deploys the same trick. The bait tosses their money and “wins”, instilling your confidence.

Then there are new products. There was this guy, probably a Pakistani (damn Asians)who had two innovations (not those our application developers come up with in hackathons) that should probably be part of your kitchen utensils. A tomato slicer that consisted of a comb like (the afro comb) bladed structure pulled down to meet another plastic hence slicing the tomato in the process. The onion cutter was basically a punch-like utensil, operated by punching the onion. The former was retailing at a massive Ksh. 500 and the latter at a mere KES 1,000. To confirm that he was basically putting your pockets through the cleaners, the alleged Pakistani was selling both at a KES 1,000 “offer”. He had a huge heap of onions and tomatoes, evidence of the productivity of what he was selling. I am not sure you would have wanted to buy the two if you didn’t run an eatery. Clearly, the prices seemed to be in the multiples of actual market prices, the advantage of being the sole supplier of a product.

There were also women handbags on sale, which ranked hot in terms of demand. The handbags were in some fancy design and great colours, though I am sure the KES 1,500 provided a high markup for each bag. It is said that ladies will shun a handbag at a low price but buy the same handbag at a higher price. See, handbags are about prestige, and a lady will shun a cheap one and a go for one she deems to be a little bit expensive, but not so expensive. Therefore, the handbag business is about either pricing them low to move them in volumes for low income earners, or pricing them more than they are worth to convince those with higher income to buy them. It will be difficult selling a cheap good handbag at a high income neighbourhood.

Then we have the government of Kenya, and its departments and  agencies. If you are in the business of printing brochures, consider the Kenyan government a big client of yours. Even the National Environmental Management Agency had not spared a tree when it comes to having a wild varieties of brochures. Each department of each government agency seemed to have brochures listing its mission, and others listing their visions. However, brochures with actual data seemed to be not that so common, and where available, they had run out.

The missions and visions were however thrown out of the window when it came to Sunday. The Nairobi Trade Fair is a seven day event that comes to a close at 5pm on Sunday. However, just like you will find government employees leaving their places of work at 4pm, or even not reporting back from lunch, several government agencies regarded Sunday as a winding down day. The Ministry of Education, borrowing a leaf and several placards from its teachers who have led the most strikes since, and before independence. The Ministry of Education stand had literary downed their tools by noon. Many other agencies had joined them by 3 pm.

Meanwhile, I overheard a rumour that the fair consumes so much water that some residents in the city have to sacrifice this luxury for the duration. I did not enquire this from the Nairobi Water stand, though the firm assured me that water storage dams that serve the city cannot supply the whole city. The city is behind water demand by more than 30 years. An upcoming water reservoir in Muranga will  not even solve the problem.

Still on Chinese and Nairobi problems, there was Douhao construction who are offering you a quick way out of Nairobi's housing shortage. In six weeks, one can have a prefabricated  single bedroom at Ksh. 1.5 million, a 2 bedroom for ksh. 2.2 million and a 3 bedroom for ksh. 2.8 . The quality of the display unit was however not much to write home about. I could hear conversations from the other room through closed doors and some doors seemed not to fit well. While actual units may have been of a higher quality, using sub par units as display units tends to put off potential buyers. Douhao says that they also have a solution for multi storey buildings.

Then there was the Kenya Defence Mess, which promised great meals at incredibly low prices. On entering the establishment, I enquired if it was self service, to which I was given the response I should sit and await to be served. 10 minutes later, no one had bothered serving me, and all waiters seemed busy. Strange thing that the ratio of waiters to clients was below 1:5 ,  which leaves you wondering what was keeping the waiters busy.

I left the mess for the familiar vibandas. Here, you choose your meat  and have it served to your table in under 10 minutes. Small owner-run businesses always have faster, better service in the country. Seems larger businesses lack a sense of ownership?

At the end of the day, the Nairobi International Trade Fair name should not discourage farmers. It still remains predominantly an agricultural showground, with lots of activity revolving agriculture. Others who will get their money’s worth are children visiting the fun fairs. Government agencies remain arguably the largest exhibitors, with tons of brochures. Sunday, especially Sunday afternoon is a bad time to visit the stands, most will be closed early.