My son awoke this morning, upset about a dream that I had died in a car wreck; not the sweet dreams I requested when he went off to bed the night before. Knowing that the dream frightened and upset his sleep was more disturbing to me, than the dream itself, but not to him. No, he is not a toddler or an adolescent-but a 25 year old law student, one year away from financial and physical independence. He’s thoughtful and sensitive and was obviously upset by the vividness of his dream. He hugged me tightly before heading out the door. Yes, I am still here. Thankfully, the dream wasn’t real.

I’ve heard myself say this over the years to many people who come to my office in search of financial advice: create a life based on one’s values and dreams. It might sound fanciful, but I see it happen with enough frequency to validate it. Two weeks ago, a young couple sought my advice in order to get out of debt. I asked them what has kept them in debt and by the time they finished, they agreed that they were a bit lazy and had fallen into bad habits. I asked the essential questions, “What would your life be like if you had no debt? How would it change? How would you feel?” By the end of our meeting, they had painted a verbal picture of a life with more options, more comfort and better self-esteem. Their values emerged from the morass of credit card statements and thoughtless purchases.

Several months ago, I met with a couple approaching retirement within the next five years. While they were looking forward to this change, they really had no idea what their life would look like after they stopped working. After several meetings, they were able to create a picture of their life in the next chapter. Their life included a mix of physical activity, family involvement, travel and volunteer work, with the possibility of some part time work to feel productive. Again, their life path was highlighted by their dreams and values-family, charity, health, work and play.

When I ask about dreams and values, sometimes, I get blank stares. Dreaming is only meant for nighttime and it’s involuntary, at that. After I offer the analogy that they should think of their life as a blank canvas and it is up to them what colors to add; they usually nod in agreement. The cold dose of reality is added when I tell them that their financial beliefs, behaviors and habits will impact the number of colors they are able to purchase. It is my goal to have clients who can buy every color in the spectrum.

My son’s nightmare banished in the light of reality, demonstrated his deep love and connection-his values. Tonight, I will wish him sweet dreams along with a hug and a kiss.

As carried on Forbes