Did you hear that? I certainly did, it’s the sound of ATM machines spewing out peoples earnings. Those poor machines, do we ever thank them for the services they render? At the end of the month when salaries check in, a popular term with us Kenyans is “end month”. It’s the excuse for everything that happens in that period.

You got drunk because it’s “end month”. You over shopped because it’s “end month”. We’re all familiar with this phenomenon. Chaos breaks out in the city of Nairobi. The instant that lovely text message from your bank tells them that a deposit has been made, and that the new account balance is significantly higher than it was a few days before, Kenyans go bonkers.  Let’s examine a few situations with the young newlywed, and highly hypothetical couple, the Tinkerbells.

The supermarket
Mrs. Tinkerbell wrote Mr Tinkerbell a shopping list with a set budget. She insisted he stick to it, and not to forget the big packet of OMO. She’s also gave him the newspaper clippings discounted offers that the supermarket has. When he got to the supermarket he promptly picked everything on the list. The shopping trolley didn’t seem as full as the next persons’ trolley. Seeing the alcohol section is close by, he added a few more items.

The electronics section was next. There was an offer on DVD players. After all, this one plays movies from USB in all formats. “Treating himself” is what he called it. At the till, the amount of  money in his wallet didn't reflect the total amount of what’s in the trolley. The card came out. Soon, he was back in the house explaining to Mrs. Tinkerbell that the old DVD player had a few issues. “It was too good to let it go” was his excuse. It’s end month after all.

The clothes department store
Mr. Tinkerbell told Mrs Tinkerbell that she deserves a new pair of shoes and gives her his card. She runs all the way to Woolworths, they are still having a 40% off sale. The shoes fit well, but need the perfect skirt to go with them. After all, it’s end month, he won’t notice much difference. The skirt happens to fit well. As she's about to leave she sees a nice leather clutch that goes perfectly with the whole outfit. She has to grab that too.

At the till, the attendant swipes Mr Tinkerbell’s card. The receipt shows a small amount. The shop next door sells clothes as well, and as luck would have it, they’re also having a sale. She walks in and see an amazing blouse. It matches some other shoes at the back of the shop. The attendant swipes the card. Mr Tinkerbell won’t feel a thing, it’s end month.

The car
Mr Tinkerbell and Mrs Tinkerbell have been using Matatus for the past few days, as they both decided that fuel is less important that food on the table. But now there’s money and they want to go visit the parents, visit the friends, and take Mrs Tinkerbell to paradise lost on a picnic.

Because it’s end month, everyone has taken out their cars, and the traffic jams are ridiculous. You end up refueling again. Mrs Tinkerbell’s friend in Athi river also wants to come but she has no car. You end up driving there to pick her up. Fuel’s not an issue. It’s end month after all.

The Bar
Mr Tinkerbell's favourite team is playing football today. Mrs Tinkerbell is having a chamaa meeting at home and the TV isn’t as big as the one at the “local”. What will he do? He'll call a few friends and head to Blancos at Galleria. One round is ordered. All his friends will buy plus ones. Another round has been ordered. His team is winning, perfect reason to order another round.

Soon, the match ends with a draw and now the conversation is centered on social lives. Another round is ordered. It’s time to leave, and the final bill is brought. Mr Tinkerbell’s blurred vision can still see the astonishing amount. Those cocktails are not cheap. His friends say that they can’t foot the bill much, their cheques are still being processed. They tell him that they’ll “sort him out at the next game”. Baba Nduta doesn’t mind, after all, it’s end month.

These situations are popular with young Kenyans. Many get broke by mid month and some end up leaving cars at home to cut costs, as well as go out less and spend less. The moral we learn from this is that one needn’t spend overwhelming amounts when the paychecks come in. If one sticks to a set budget, they’ll get through the month without strain.

Then again, it's end month, so this can barely matter.