There are many things that most people would regard as luxury items. Big houses, plush apartments, expensive cars, designer suits and all the latest gadgets are some of the most common indicators of financial success.

What about diseases?

There are a number of illnesses and medical conditions that can only affect a select few group of people. In fact, without a sufficient amount of money, you can’t contract any one of them.

Few may fail to consider the fact that a life of luxury can also have its flaws. When you have a lot of money, your life may not always be full of sunshine and roses. There are times when the rich and powerful succumb to overindulgence. It is this kind of thinking that leads to a number of illnesses otherwise known as the rich man’s disease.

Too much of anything is bad for you. And when you have the resources needed to get what you want, too much is never enough.

Imagine what you could do with KES 100 million. You could buy everything you ever wanted and invest what little remains in some self-sustaining mutual fund. You could even open up a business and hire someone to run it for you. But even with social security and solid financial planning, the whole point of having money is to spend it.

And lifestyle-specific diseases are just the way to do it.

Depression

Contrary to local, traditional and conservative beliefs, a lot of people suffer from depression. 2012 statistics from the World Health Organisation (WHO) even note that more than 350 million people worldwide are suffering from depression. Psychological conditions that barely affect the people around you can easily be ignored. Depression can even be mistaken for menopause.

Not everyone can afford to pay for the treatment. In fact, this particular society sees psychiatrists as the rich man’s private doctor. As a result, depression falls into the rich man’s list of diseases.

[caption id="attachment_27777" align="alignleft" width="300"] First World Problems[/caption]

For the average consumer, depression can be treated with a shot of alcohol or by lashing out at someone who did something to warrant some sort of verbal or physical abuse. For the corporate elite, council is the only option. If you have the money, feel free to pop open a cheque book and keep paying a professional psychiatrist to listen to how hard your glamourous life is.

Meanwhile, the average person will talk about their depression with like-minded peers and colleagues at no extra cost. They will air their views and vent their anger. At the end of the day, life goes on and what seemed like depression will be shrugged away like some forgotten nightmare.

Gout

Gout is the original rich man’s disease. If you can afford to get gout them you can afford to treat it. How else would you be able to eat so much roast beef until it damn near kills you?

Caused by the overconsumption of products like organ meat, asparagus, mushrooms, herring and anchovies, Gout occurs when the body is unable to effectively braek down chemicals known as Purines. These chemicals are found in the aforementioned (and usually expensive) foods.

According to Medical News Today, when the purines are broken down, the body produces uric acid as a sort of response mechanism. Most of the time uric acid dissolves and goes into the urine via the kidneys. However, if the body is producing too much uric acid, or if the kidneys are not excreting enough uric acid, it builds up. The accumulation results in sharp urate crystals which look like needles. They accumulate in the joints or surrounding tissue and cause pain, inflammation and swelling.

If you’re on a constant diet of Kale and Maize Meal (Sukumawiki and Ugali), then Gout is a problem you can check off your list.

Diabetes

Too little blood sugar can kill you. Too much and you can lose a foot shortly before you expire. In as much as Diabetes is sometimes the result of a genetic disorder, it can sometimes be self-inflicted. Tasty snacks can be a rich man’s undoing. If you fill your mouth with pastries, snacks and other delicious but less than necessary sweets, then you’re asking for some liver failure.

[caption id="attachment_27801" align="alignleft" width="300"] Diabetes: Sometimes the choice is yours[/caption]

For those of you who can afford to spoil themselves rotten, Type 2 Diabetes is just a slice of cake away. Though genetics may play a major role in this particular type of Diabetes, excess body weight around the waist is also a contributor. Assuming you can afford to carry that weight around, you might be better off than most of your “healthier” peers.

So don’t feel bad if you can’t have a sponge-cake every day. There’s an idiot somewhere stuffing themselves senseless and running a proverbial hack-saw above their ankles. Very soon, that symbolic reference will be as real as an insulin deficiency.

Obesity

When you say that morbid obesity is a serious disease, then you’re asking for a slap across the face. That kind of argument may hold some water in the First World but here in an emerging market, it is a rich man’s manageable condition.

Truth be told, those who “suffer” from obesity in the developed parts of the world may be inclined to eat junk food because it is less expensive than other healthier alternatives. Out there, junk food is pocket-friendly and easily accessible. But try and explain obesity to some starving child in West Pokot; “a disease caused by overeating”.

If you say obesity runs in your family, your doctor will hold back tears of laughter as he explains that it’s because no one in your family runs.

Bulimia and Anorexia

You know you are successful when you can afford to cut the crust off your bread. Even if you’re doing it to lose weight, your bank account must be full and your wallet should be bursting at the seams.

But when you can afford to eat and then regurgitate your food every day, then you must be some sort of millionaire.

[caption id="attachment_27794" align="alignright" width="250"] Third World Perspective[/caption]

Now don’t get it twisted. Bulimia and Anorexia are legitimate diseases. They are actual eating disorders associated with psychological distress. For those not in the loop, Bulimia is an eating disorder characterized by recurring episodes of binge eating, followed closely by regular regimes used to prevent weight gain. According to the National Center for Biotechnology Information (NCBI), these regimes include self-induced vomiting, use of laxatives or diuretics, fasting and vigorous exercise.

On the other hand, the center describes Anorexia as a patient’s refusal to maintain weight that is over the lowest weight considered normal for their age and height. It is also defined by an intense fear of gaining weight or becoming fat, even though the person is underweight.

You can blame the mainstream media for painting an image of what a person should look like. You can even point all your fingers at cruel peers who insist that popularity is synonymous with a small frame and hollow cheekbones.

Whoever you choose to blame, please note that there are millions of people who are skinny, not by choice but by circumstance.

These diseases may be psychological, but they are borne from the broken structures of a developed nation. The toll they take on those who suffer from them can be terrible, to say the least.

If you have any of these diseases, take comfort in the fact that you are successful. Otherwise, seek medical advice because, if you can afford to get any of the diseases mentioned above, you can afford a decent doctor.