I recently went on a date and when the bill was brought my date insisted on paying. Being a traditional type of guy, it felt awkward and somehow humiliating to have a woman pay the bill. We got into a heated debate, on who should foot the bill, until she paused a question, “Who made it a requirement that men should always foot the bill?” I got tongue tied at that point, whichever argument I came up with afterwards seemed baseless.
Let’s take a walk down history lane. According to 20somethingfinance.com, the tradition of the male being expected to pick up the tab started way back in the 1920’s when dating became common. Few women, back then, had high paying jobs or any jobs at all relative to their male counterparts. Over time circumstances have changed, more women nowadays have high paying jobs, placing men on a “demand if you do, demand if you don’t” situation.
Some women get insulted if men insist on paying the bill, such as the case I was in, they feel as though they are being bought or patronized. Like the man doesn’t believe she can afford the meal on her own accord.
On the other hand, if a man fails to offer to pay instantly, some women may think that the man is just being cheap and ungentlemanly.
Here are some hard facts from dating survey conducted online by msnbc.com. The survey involved about 74,000 online readers and it was discovered that most guys want girls to help with the check after a few free meals. On the other hand, some women are reluctant to pay while others are adamant about their ability to pay. Here’s a breakdown of the findings:
- 66% of man wanted women to chip in after a few dates
- 44% of women are bothered by the idea of being expected to chip in.
- 57% of women willingly offer to pay. 34% of these are though bothered if the man accepts their offer to foot the bill while 46% are bothered if the man refuses.
- 75% of men feel uncomfortable when they let the woman pay, even if the woman earns more.
- 80% of men say they always end up paying for the date
From the above findings, men are in a bit of a dilemma on who should foot the bill on a date. Considering the fact that 44 percent of women are bothered by the idea of being expected to chip in, while 34 percent of women are bothered if a man accepts their offer to foot the bill, men don’t have much of an option at the end of the day.
At the end of the day it comes down to three options:
- The man could foot the bill, though this might go down well with most women
- The bill should be settled by the party with a bigger income
- There’s the 50/50 option where both of you agree to split the bill half way.
To avoid any inconveniences, it’s best to offer if you are unsure of who should pay. This gesture is usually well received, even when it’s refused.